& secondly, i am not talking to jolo. i told him i only see him as a friend, scratch the past (past few weeks), we stay best friends. i felt like we were hella fast, and it didnt feel right. yes, i get that we look cute together from everybody its actually starting to become very predictable, but he's currently helping me with guy problems and i'm helping him with personal problems. & i'm currently puffy-eyed because actually i just got off the phone with him cause i found myself STILL crying about john ]= idk why, idk how, idk idk idk. but i broke down on the phone. i hate this. to me, he is non-existent. i feel like i never even knew a guy named john rodriguez... and i hate it. i want to be friends. but please don't tell him i said that cause i'm patiently but impatiently waiting for him to make the move. the first move. something he never attempted on doing - taking the initiative on any situation, that is. so if u still dont get it by now,i havent heard from john ever since 11/11... the day we broke up. and 11:11 is haunting me ever since. i know its stupid to mention, but its just a bit crazy that i keep catching 11:11 on the dot most of the time. like without me trying. blv it or or dont blv it. though i really don't know when the next time i'm gonna bump into john, but i'm fine with not seeing/talking/hearing from him until i save the last dance for him as my 18th rose.. on my debut.... at the end of this year. idk. it just seems so possible that, as much as that's a long time, it just might happen.
so me,sean, and his dad were jerkin' on the dance floor today. hella jerked a bit too much. but i'll stop right there. oh & i told him that he'll be officiallly my escort for my debut [; thing is.. my bday's on dec 27. thats a sunday. 26. is a saturday. so most likely that day and cake blowing at midnight. but thing is, thats a day after christmas =\ the next saturday it's the day after new year's =\ so january 9th?! idk! first problem&stress right there. more to go. i already have a lot planned out... buttttt =X
so today was my church's 20th anniversary celebration. i was suppose to act as a main character on one of the performances.. i came late.. everybody mad... mom booked it on the freeway and everything.. came and found out someone else just took the role instead. geeeey.
kellie's debut. last night. (my old bball teammate... back in elementary!)
everybody's slowly but quickly hittin legality fuckkkk!
DOOOOOOOOOOOPE. old faces! a few ex's. -_- brought back goood times though! man was i fuckinnn crazy on the dance floor. fuck. it's just getting me more psyched about MY debut! fuckkk my court's gonna be lookin like one of a kind! u'll see why[; and why am i saying fuck so much. im gettin my dresses done in the philippines & i guess everybody else's. yepyepyep.
quote: all that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream -eap.
suddenly, dreams are nothing but a gripful of nonsense in your head... that will haunt you forever.
take care always baby. i pray for you& your family all the time.
p.s.
john's brother and my brother both passed away at the age of 11. thats 11&11. like.. 11/11. am i wrong to think that it weirdly connects so well?!
God bless - Jeannine.
i'm sorry bout you &johns bro, hang in =) &god bless.
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