Before you come in a bathroom stall,

check and make sure there's fuckin tissue paper.

it didnt happe to me. it was just a random thought today when i thought it was happening to me.. then it was just hiding underneath the black container shit.

Quote of the day: Show me how to do it like you show me how to do it - stevie wonder.

attempted to go to abdc again. failed.

look closely. thers two men in a hoodie... fckn scary.

jump rope sessions during lunch is GROWN.

Covenant & Repentance for His Call.

so i got accepted by the modeling/acting agency..
but with the economy that we, the people of the united states, have on this day, i turned them down.

so i know this is random..
but i went up to my dad just to hug him and say.. "you're the only man who will never break my heart." and i tried to swallow after that. my throat didnt let me. low key; HE's still on my mind. just cause sometimes i just hope he's doing okay and that she's treatin' him right. but hey what can i do.. i love him. he loves her. so i just pray it out. and Walk it out With Jesus Daily. [;

so i went to mass twice today...
the alemany mass w/ alexis' family since i slept over; then i went to the 1245 st. john eude's mass with mine.. oh i saw john's aunt. no, i didn't ask about him.. i just acted like an old friend she hasnt seen in awhile.. but all she kept talking about was how she heard that i was on abdc and tv and stuff like that.

so ricky...
is this sweet guy.. but i'm all for jolo as of right now. i met him last night when me and alexis and john and kimchi and him were suppose to ......... uhh.. chill [; but i ended up just paying john 10 bucks for gas since we ended up not doin anythin. whatevuh whatevuh. oh, oh no sir, not that john. anyway point is.. ricky.. even though he was thizzin'; thought i had a cute smile and dahdahdah BOOM u know where that goes. he gets my number from alexis and he starts textin i start txtin back then he goes let's have lunch, if your available. and so i say why not? i mean. aint nothin wrong with a friendly acquainted get together meal, right? i mean.. people gotta eat with this recession up our asses..[;

so the title of this post..
i actually listened to BOTH masses and participated and even sang and everything. yeahyeahyeah whatevuh. lol. the priest said we need to feed on some food. spiritually, of course. but its pretty clever how he started off saying i bet u guys have a big appetite since its so early in the morn... [9 am] and then yeah he went on from there. then the 2nd mass i went to.. we should get ready and accept and listen to God's calling because the time to act and repent is NOW. and i mean i could go on and on with this but i'll just let ur mind do the talking with that.. mayn i felt so holy today no lie.. i even volunteered to be the main character in my other church's play for the church's anniversary next month [; actually i hesitated COMPLETELY and when i realized i was the only kid outta the box, i was like fine. whyyyy not. & i feel like they prayed that i was gonna make a move when i was tryna avoid them. if your really hella interested on that.. im gonna be acting the role of the guy on SET ME FREE look it up on Godtube.com [;

so winter formal...
i loveee alexis. not only cause shes a lil cute fuck, but cause she hooked it up with a fuckin dopeee ass dress for me to borrow so i wont have to buy one [; WOOOT. and boy, does it goes. i fucking LOVE IT. i canNOT wait for fckn formal cause of it. omg she is the tick tick. my lifesaver. oh its yellow btw, and im gonna wear my famous spiral silver heels; my famour silver fat belt. and my date is gonna wear a yellow vest and a silver tie or vice versa. guess who? [;

so..
i should bounce. and i promise i'll put up some pics up in this bland boring blogspot of mine next time. meanwhile, i start tonight.. and cram the whole night fucking through.. on 3 weeeks of fuckin schoolwork [;

THIS WEEK'S RECAP.

fruckk i love everyone [; YOU.. YOUU.. YOOU & YOUUU.
sooo abdc next week then the next week with 4 tix.. hmmm.
sanamluang is epmty and slow now.
goose. jeann&juice. patron. & kushhhh.
invented the best frckn munchies.
i miss FCJC & YFC. c
hatsworth is getting less gayer.
oh did you really? after strikers? haha yeah. me too.
granasssty won and lost.
elco lost and won.
chatsworth lost and lost.
taft won and won.
chuck e cheese is empty and slow now too.
i can barely afford winter formal.. we'll see.
i dreamed the other night that mom bought me a car ];
dad's surprise was not what i thoguht it wud be ];
vons moistiest cakes are the bomb.
grown ass man, wuh?!
my computer has a virus ];
first sign i should start catching up on 3 weeks of homework.
so i got a phone call. modeling/acting auditions at beverly hills at 2. and im still in my pj's.
im sooper hungry.
gotta make abdc signs tonight.
attempt to do another mission impossible tonight.
we'll see we'll see.
i missed uy's&silos's kickback ]';
and april's "swaray"
lalaaalaaa.im hungry.

The very first time I opened up to Mom.

"i'm very proud of him. actually, i trust him and love him so much more
now. he was very good to you, that is what you call a gentleman. one of
a kind, who made sure mind was over matter, that the mind was always
first before the heart. now that you have experienced love, to be loved,
to date, to get hurt, now its time to experience to grow up. take that with
you to help you grow .. and in the end love can wait. you dont need to
let go, just set him free. if something happened to you last night, do you
not realize he would be the first to come look for you? i would have
called him if something went wrong and you know and i know he would
be very worried. he cares for you. thats why he did it. honestly, you
suffocated him from falling in love with the idea of just being in love when
he always had the mentality that it was not the time to be serious, or at
least too serious - and that is why he never took initiative. but you're
telling me he promised he'll make it up to you one day, and i, myself
can't wait for that day. i'm scared for you now. you know why? because i
know the next guy won't be anything like him. so please, the best
suggestion i can say is, it will hurt worse the second time around. so
make new priorities with these changes and make sure God and your
studies are number one. time will heal" - mom.

Nocturnality & Nighthawking.

okay fuck you for laughing in the next minute, but im already fucking ready for school. LMFAO. and its 5:44 am. WTF?! already. a min ago it was 5 on the dot. anyway. so i didnt bother fighting the jetlag. so here i am wide AWAKE. daytime's bedtime for me.

BOOO. birmingham beat us today. very first bball game i actually watched. but FUCKK brandon is DOWNN. fuckk we got wayy too many HELL points for pointin at random .. FRIENDS and making fun of them. hahah . whatevuh.

oh. hahah. last tuesday i gave out like.. 7 barrel men to people.. including 3 teachers. God it made my per 1 teacher's day. he said it himself. haha. it was just funny how there were just a bunch of barrel man dicks poppin' out all over school that day..

so im tellin myself im gonna go barge in john's house .. this time forsure.. today.. to get all the shit i gave him back. ps3.. 2k9.. my cookies in the fckn freezer.. the pacquiao shirt.... oaky no i need to stop. cause there's just wayy too fuckin much to list. =\

GOD. i CANNOTTT wait for winter formal AT ALLLL. like even though im still dateless, and too broke for a dress, i'll make it haapp. i got someone in mind but idk if he's gonna get along with everyone in the limo aka just the group im goin with. and im in charge of gettin a few hookah sets for the limo ride [; and then there's the pre-formal drinking session. woooot. ew. low key i hateee anything alcohol.

so its funny how i sleep when i get home from school.. wake up after midnight.. and basically dont do SHIT till schools tarts. which is reall ybad because i have not dont ANYTHING .. any hw ... and im behind 2 weeks .. almost 3 weeks of schoolwork now .. cause i skipped a couple since i was in the philippines the whole month of december. whackkk. im sooo crammin' tmrw night. o well. that's after i go to brooklyn's birthday dinner and get my shit from my ex's.

janis had the fckn nerve to say "get off my case" so i threw a handful of some harsh honesty at her.. sayin "YOU GOT SOME NERVE TWISTIN SHIT UP. only way i get off your case is if you miraculously fix your face! shady ass bitch recognize urself. FUCKINN UP, BUTTERFACE!" yeah.. sounds familiar? haha. its called myspace drama bitchesss. hahaha. i know.. stupid but effective. i love it.

hm. well just a heads up.. friday hopefully i see ricky so he can see the pups and so IF i dont get my shit back tmrw.. im goin friday when i know ricky's gonna chill with john frsure. cause that was his plan... to help me get my shit back..yeah.. its that big of a deal. then saturday.. winterfresh part II! hopefully perrents fckn cool it w/ the punishment. cause before the party im about to tag up the whole fckn valley and doo crazy shit with ken&jordann. ah, cant wait. if there is anything to wait for saturday. oh and i got a Youth For Christ chapter assembly that day . almost forgot. but man.. i stilllll havent gotten that why-did-you-sneak-out lecture dad promised to me. lol.

cherrry poppper.

i took myles for the first time to chipotle today. actually he drove there but i paid. haha. typical. never really had a guy actually pay for me for foood. oh wait nvm sina bought me animal fries and took me bowling last week. hahah. i was broke no joke. but i guess that was the only time anyone really paid for me. whatever . next subject.

sooo.. did YOU get the memo? 90% of students wore plaid today... including me. whatta trip. you shoulda seen it. but this fckn hicky is not the business. i got a few LOLs but mostly jaw droppin reactions =\ esp. since i wore a button down.

so my teachers just kept throwin 2 weeks of missed schoolwork at me today. but fuck it. im knockin out right now. thats it for now.

"if you love something, set it free....

...if it returns, keep it and love it forever."
as for me.. moving someplace new sounds sooo exciting. i might actually consider it.

so today i got caught sneaking out last night. nick, gino, and vitug picked me up. at 1 am. looked for somewhere to chill but ended up stayin at justin's. then nick dropped me off at jolo's place. i basically spent the night there till i realized i got a missed call from my grandpa. man. i didnt even know how to react. my mind blanked out. jolo took me back and i told him i was hella bored and cudnt sleep so "i went to carls jr w/ Joel and Dana since i was hungry". i mean after all to them they only thought i was out for an hour. but anyway. my dad called today yelling saying he's gonna have to talk to me when they get back from DC. ehhh. whatever. whatever happens happens.

anyway. a few mins ago i found myself crying again so i took my Kuya's old bible [who btw passed on 7 years ago] and asked God to talk to me through the Bible. i put the bible on my chest and embraced it while crying and praying. right when i opened it.. i read that foolish children bring grief to their fathers and bitter regrets to their mothers. and that it is slow death to always feel gloomy. idk it just really fits what im going through. that i should stop being foolish cause it hurts my parents and that i should be happy cause its the only way to keep healthy. and that im slowly killing myself if i stay gloomy.

so that's that. i feel kinda better. and ricky always tries to cheer me up and it helps but you know how it is. well school starts tmrw.. and im still up doing this. cause i really cant sleep. i woke up around 11.. cause i basically slept most of the day... the most decent rest i've had all week. damn this jetlag . well. i guess ill try to go back to sleep even though i should try catching up on 2 weeks missed of school work right before winter break. bleh.

Hurt me so good.

that you loved me so bad. FUCK A BITCH. you just wanna fuckin experience some titty fucking with your eyes closed PLUS a bag over her head. i'm already practicing on the best laugh for the day you come cryin back to me. honestly, i could be telling you right now.. "you dont have to wait for me, as much as i'd like that.. but promise me if u do find a new girl.. please make sure she's better than i was and will continue giving you what you deserve" but i cant. cause shes not. in so many ways already. FUCK YOU for liking her during US. and FUCK YOU for jumpin on another right when u became single. i hate to say i love you sooooo much. that nothing can change that. i really do. and even if i move on.. i wont be in love with you but you'll always stay in the most precious spot in my heart. after all, you were my first love. until you fucked it all up. at least grow some balls for that bitch janis. dont expect her fuckin babying her and doing everything for you and constantly letting her run both your lives.. cause newsflash! grow up and fucking be a man on your own for once. theres no more jeannine in ur life.

Unrequited Love.

HA! looks aint nothin?! so then you do admit she FUGGGGLY. make sure u decapitate her in bed when u get ur "grown man" on cause thats all u want anyway!