X.

5/12/09. &so after 6 months of complete absence, I did meet you again today. & you said you're keeping your promise. & you said I'm your first love. & I'm glad that my art of contentment is reached. I wish you the best in life & with her. <3. so World, it's a heartbreak fixed. [=

VALLEY INK.

$70. 6 HOURS. I ALREADY KNOW MY NEXT ONE [=
PAIN = <3333

Lessons Learned, and Wisdom Earned.

I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many years you had with him.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that the people you care about most in life are sometimes taken from you too soon


i almost got kidnapped today
more lessons learned:
go to school on time.
dont let anyone overpower you.
RUN.
dont take anything for granted - life is a pendulum, you never know if the next minute of it is gonna be on its highest point or lowest point.

i saw john for the first time after the break up
& because of my anger, i almost hit two poor innocent girls as i drove off.
lessons learned:
john will never give a fuck.
face reality NOW, or forever have no peace.
john will never fuckin talk to me.
john broke his promise, though it be the hardest thing to accept.
and like i said, the world wont stop for ur grief, so cope with this shit.
open my eyes, and realize what ive been taking for granted & ignored.


it'll all take practice.
but i feel myself growing.

My Life Changing Weekend.

JEANNINE'S TALK 3 SHARING part 1 of 2


JEANNINE'S TALK 3 SHARING part 2 of 2



& as of right now, i miss john. i cant get him off my mind. lately i find myself crying and crying and crying again the way it was bak in november. what good does that do for me though!? if he's happily fucking another ?! idk. idk. but i stay missing&hurting.

John..

why do u still fuckin haunt me. get the fuck out. of my mind. & the heart you fuckin broke.

FUCK YOU&HER.

For Lent, I'm Giving Up...

rice, & still attempting to give up on cussing & myspace.
and as for my fam.ILY; we're giving up jerking & smoking [=

thats gonna be a bee eye tee see aych.
silly chris was like no more jerkin;
just straight up praying sessions!
LOL!
at lunch during filipino club,
i like totally forgot for a sec,
and i was already on my jerkin stance,
tongue out elbows up & everything..
then i froze. haha
silly lojo started jerkin
& i was like OOH IMA TELL OUR LEADER!
hahahaha. and he said he wasn't dfts. ]=
POOOOP. haha.


today. my sister called my ex
on the phone on speaker..
it's been FOUR f'n months since i heard his damn voice.
it hurts to swallow.

for the first time in a long time..
i went to the park.
to play ball with my sis.
or actually, to ball UP my sis*
hahha. pretty dope exercise.
i kinda need that now.
but damn. smoking hella bites you in the ass
got tired QUICK.
i can only run once around the park ]=
anyway,
we witnessed a 911 incident
when we were walkin in the renaissance gate..
a bunchof firetrucks and ambulances came rushin in
so we ran and followed them
hahha. we didnt end up finding out what happend.
tahhaha. cause we were too chicken.
so we just sat in the corner of the street.
acted like that house in the corner was ours.
hahah. well since we came there for nothing,
i said to my sis might as well wave hi to the firefighters.
so thats what we did.
ran on home.
worried that the reason why there were no cops w/ the 911
was cause they were in front of our house lookin' for us.
hahah. cause we came home late.
alright. bye.
i been saying this for the 100th time,
but i need to start debut planning.
fckn. its already 9 months away.
WOW. so near. not sarcastic.

BURN WEEKEND w/ FAMily

FAMILY = chris, jolo, juju, myles & jeannine.

friday - winterformal happened

rolled deep in the limo.

fashionably late.

the vineyards.

dj gino. [yours truly got him the gig]

he forgot his jerk cd's. BURN #1

small ass fckn dance floor BURN 2.

my thighs hurt.

food was fckn good doh!

xcept i ate meat ]=

cutest couple pic!

jolo kneeling down and everything.

we're the yellow,black&gray ppl on the pic btw.

jerk session @ in n out parking lot after.

picked up myles, juju, & chris.

after party and sleep over w/ everybody at my house.

saturday -

had to leave everyone behind back home ]=

had a youth group event first thing in the morn.

fuck i wanted to collapse.

only ran on 2 hrs of sleep.
but i made it up to the fam

they picked me up and busted a mission.

AT LA.

smoked smokes from third.

bong smoked while

cruisin down the street.

[in my six four]

MIA jolo.

richie = replacement.

mmm mexican fckn nachos.

best munchiessss.

haha funny moments.

like when we all started makin beats.

my beat was laughin. hahaha

but the the poo steppin,

bed stealin',

bong water spillin',

car door lockin',

parental guardin',

alarm soundin'

shotgun losin' ,

lent sacrificin',

fake alcohol drinkin',

chris thinkin i was mad at him,

almost gettin down with richie moments?

hahah not the business.

went home.

14 hours of fuckin sleep.

all of us did.

fuckk this whole weekend.

we all still have

"jizz residue on our eyes"

i shuda taken a pic of everyone

KTFO. it was a pretty funny sight.

sunday -

happy birthday brah.

usual church & sunday schedule.

i met two cute guys today.

im hungry.

i want some winter formal food.

finally caught up with blogspot.

currents:

"please dont shoot me!" - cfr

memory lane - the good boise.

tired/lazy.

i'm sitll use to calling him baby. ]=