I'm a Hypocrite.

Friday, February 13, 2008.

spooky house. all white party. LOVE FEST. rob's&jackie's&gabby's birthday party.

oh & i met chris reyes that night.
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Saturday. February 14, 2008.
sean's house. "massive" & "guaranteed to jerk" kickback. lmao!

session&valentine's night. chris fuckin' reyes photography.

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Sunday, February 15, 2008

took the car out. and I'm a hypocrite cause i ended up having a valentine =\. whenw e asked each other to be valentines, we were like half playin around. but i decided to visit him sunday. he's sick so i thought of buying him some tangerine cuties and a heart shaped box fileld with hugs and kisses to make him feeel better .. metaphysically and figuratively [=. he had me fckn standing in front of his house for a good like.. half hour -_- cause he had to take a dump first =\ WHACK! how ironic. he tryna get ME sick. lol. it was pretty funny though. though, i was shittin bricks cause i took the benz out. but he made it up when he gave me a "thank you" in return. teeeheee. so yeah. 2/15/08 - my first kiss w/ a friend i've known for a looong time.

I feel vulnerable everytime i go to church. because i always have that weird vibe that john's just gonna randomly show up and see me or that i'd randomly see him walk by. and idk.. when im at church i think a lot. cause 95% of my prayer time is about john and then theres the memories we had at church when he'd go with my family. fuhhhh. i hate this. ever since this day, i find myself hella thinkin about him again =\

nate robinsion t he kryptonite. WUH!? yayuhhhh. makes me wanna play ball again.

___________________________________

TODAY.

it was cold when i woke up. though, txts from myles, &chris rey woke me up. fuck 3 day weekends are always like.. ehh. like whenf riday comes u hella look forward to it. when monday comes.. theres NOTHING to do. esp cause i woke up from the hard ass fckn drip drops of the rain on my window pannnee. hahah i got the blueees! okay enough.

i couldn't help but cry again. jordan made me think of how much of an ass john is and was to me. he straight up teling me he's hella happy now. god. whatta friend. but he helped me come otu with the conclusion that its either i move on withouthim or move on with him as a friend. as much as i'd rather pick the latter more than anything, i gotta ignore my feelings until it just fckn rubs off by itself and move on without him. cause i feel like if i move on by approaching him and being the bigger person, it wouldn't be mutual. cause he's fine with or without me. hes livin' life like it is. not givin a fuck about anything like he'll porlly be pretty good at playin like he never knew me. though, i'm keeping him in my prayers as much as i disappoint my friends cause of doing that. honestly, i can't feel content without him being there, like knowing that he'll be there for me, even just as a friend. thats the thing i feel is missing. if you knew me before john, you know what i mean. cause john held me down. i miss that asshole. =\

i made an oovoo account. haha funnnn shit. session'd w/ juju, rob & jolo.

F Valentine's Day.

ima pass this year. just the thought of love is sickening. hahah okay!?
lol. whatever. thats as emo as i can get.
i have NO PLANS today. =[ would YOU be my valentine?
love fest last night.
at the wharehouse .. wherehouse. wearhouse. werehose. omg.
the spooky house at canoga/nordhoff. there.
haha. i shined my flashlight at this one room..
OMFG. scary as FUCK.
the whole place was.
but i left early.
chris f'n reyes. jolo. & terence.
puff puff pass.
terence jerkin.
me & jolo -longest laugh contest.
chris was still. lol
then went home right after.
& KTFO.
oh wow. and sam ...
gah. he's tryna say his sorry's to me.
god its never a good vibe aorund him.
whatever. last night's sesh was kinda a gettaway
from everything, i guess.
i took the car out.
right when i parked it back home..
i close the garage
and it went right back up.
cause my mom came at the same time.
but i didnt get in trouble.
cause it was friday the 13th[;
hahah.
fuck! and i took home claire's phone ];
well have fun today.
idk what im up to.
it was nice seein' donnnnie<3
chatsworth vs. cleveland.
fuuuh, i tell ya about those cheerleaders.
hahah that reminds me..
me, puerko, jolo&lance.
tahahha had a valentine photoshoot
during lunch. LMFAOOO.
funny shit. cant wait for the pic.

New Kids On The Block.

lance's 1st day.
tyler's 2nd day.
jayy's 3rd day.
myles is gay.
& as for me...
1st sparks laydayy [; yahah.

it was cold today. =[

MMM. yogurtzone.

cleon from abdc called. -__- suddenly, i feel like ignoring all theyr calls from now on. he talked to shane sparks about me though!!! i feel speciaaal hahah he said he was thinkin/talkin about me the whole night last night. lol. deeeyum, its that charm i have... hahaha SIIIIIIKE.

so uhhh.. who wants to be part of my "quest qrew"?! [;
rooollll DEEEP w/ usss!

WELCOME TO CHATSWORTH...
tyler tooo!***
woww. portola days again?! prettty doope!
but freal now, outta all schools,
WHY is everyone transferring to chatsworth?!
eeeek!





jolo's 2nd day at chatsworth.









mom told me to go to ralph's really quick.
& i ended up bumpin' into my dad.
this is how i said my hello.

America's Best Dance Crew.

w/ brianne ward.

DOWNS-
didnt get a VIP bracelet b/c we were a bit too near the front of the line & they were givin' out one too many black wristbands to people in front of us; NOTE: DO NOT wear heels DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT. find a way to look good without 'em!; COLD AS FUCK. DO NOT wear a dress lmao on a cold day. waiting in line is a beeeyotch. bring food & games to keep u company! (though we saw vince and a few other kennedy people that kept us company and hooked us up with cutting near the front).

UPSide DOWNS-
bri&i got seats so high, but we just straight up went back down after they sat us. and sat behind where vince and everybody else were sittin at. turns out, two omarion look-a-like twins sat between me [; guess their names.. pretty confusing actually. bri&i thought it was crayon, dion, kian, but it turns out thir names are leon&cleon. tahhaha. very foiiine, exchanged numbers and emails/facebooks, but too much on the dirty side =\ they hurl for asian girls. eeek! but they do got hookups though. childhood friends with shane. cleon inviting me to go to vegas with him (low key i go to pierce and im 18) tahaha! but i turned down the offer. though he's still willing to take me out for lunch. aint nothin but a simple get together meal, ehh?

i saw "kool raul" RJ from supreme soul, and i straight up yelled MABUHAY!!!! so he handed me a KNOW YOUR RANK shirt ! doopeeee!

low key, im down to chill with cleon&leon. they kick it with shane and he kept tellin me to kick it with him, and not to ignore his call hahah. i mean damn he was tellin me they were gonna eat out and then play wii at shane's. hahah. i love how we were messin with fly khicks with theyr thick thighss and all though! then all of a sudden she flashes us her ring ... BURN!

marcus.. little brother of moesha in her show, and the best friend in a cinderella story sat with cleon&leon but he left so stoleeee that! haha. & of course that fineee ass girl from american teenager's there. cause shes goin out with shane/lives with shane. uhm affion crockett, of course johnny from dancing on sunset (he's there everyweek), and idk who else im missing were there.

oh btw i saw EJ's cousin, ceasar/cj, and his girl?, julie, tryton, then tehre were friends who saw me that i didnt see. but look out for me! & bri! and vince! we're holding up a biggg ass FREAK THE VOTE sign and my supreme soul shirt !

court day.

me & jolo attempted to go to court today. it's a grownn thingg. he went to the court hall in LA though. i went to the chatsworth one. that's it for today. moral of the story, dont fuck with the police. if you do, get ready talkin grown in front of the judge and patiently waitin in line for a few too many hours. yep.

ABDC TMRW. w/ mahh roooll dawg, breee.
i will attempt to get the VIP wristband...
like the previous times i went [; hahaha.
gotta looook goood.
i'll let you know how that goes.

first day of second semester tmrw.
WELCOME TO CHATSWORTH, jolo, lance, & chance!

it's too cold to take a dump.

leme start off by saying, HI TO MY ANONYMOUS FOLLOWERS! i lowkey know who you are.


& secondly, i am not talking to jolo. i told him i only see him as a friend, scratch the past (past few weeks), we stay best friends. i felt like we were hella fast, and it didnt feel right. yes, i get that we look cute together from everybody its actually starting to become very predictable, but he's currently helping me with guy problems and i'm helping him with personal problems. & i'm currently puffy-eyed because actually i just got off the phone with him cause i found myself STILL crying about john ]= idk why, idk how, idk idk idk. but i broke down on the phone. i hate this. to me, he is non-existent. i feel like i never even knew a guy named john rodriguez... and i hate it. i want to be friends. but please don't tell him i said that cause i'm patiently but impatiently waiting for him to make the move. the first move. something he never attempted on doing - taking the initiative on any situation, that is. so if u still dont get it by now,i havent heard from john ever since 11/11... the day we broke up. and 11:11 is haunting me ever since. i know its stupid to mention, but its just a bit crazy that i keep catching 11:11 on the dot most of the time. like without me trying. blv it or or dont blv it. though i really don't know when the next time i'm gonna bump into john, but i'm fine with not seeing/talking/hearing from him until i save the last dance for him as my 18th rose.. on my debut.... at the end of this year. idk. it just seems so possible that, as much as that's a long time, it just might happen.





so me,sean, and his dad were jerkin' on the dance floor today. hella jerked a bit too much. but i'll stop right there. oh & i told him that he'll be officiallly my escort for my debut [; thing is.. my bday's on dec 27. thats a sunday. 26. is a saturday. so most likely that day and cake blowing at midnight. but thing is, thats a day after christmas =\ the next saturday it's the day after new year's =\ so january 9th?! idk! first problem&stress right there. more to go. i already have a lot planned out... buttttt =X





so today was my church's 20th anniversary celebration. i was suppose to act as a main character on one of the performances.. i came late.. everybody mad... mom booked it on the freeway and everything.. came and found out someone else just took the role instead. geeeey.





kellie's debut. last night. (my old bball teammate... back in elementary!)


everybody's slowly but quickly hittin legality fuckkkk!


DOOOOOOOOOOOPE. old faces! a few ex's. -_- brought back goood times though! man was i fuckinnn crazy on the dance floor. fuck. it's just getting me more psyched about MY debut! fuckkk my court's gonna be lookin like one of a kind! u'll see why[; and why am i saying fuck so much. im gettin my dresses done in the philippines & i guess everybody else's. yepyepyep.





quote: all that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream -eap.

suddenly, dreams are nothing but a gripful of nonsense in your head... that will haunt you forever.


take care always baby. i pray for you& your family all the time.


p.s.
john's brother and my brother both passed away at the age of 11. thats 11&11. like.. 11/11. am i wrong to think that it weirdly connects so well?!



God bless - Jeannine.

420.

is coincidentafuckinly my curent savings in my drawer. and juju said "hi future stoner" and myles said "hi pothead". and that is why moral of the story, juju and myles are alike. funny thing is, me and jolo were talking about that exact topic today when i saw him at chatsworth checkin in. yeah its official.. in myles wise words.. "baby boo officially goes to chatsworth now!" . ehh. he's not even a baby! he's a grown man. and he's noo body's boo. lol.

haha it felt like jolo already transferred. he already met a gripful of people and we were hanging out afterschool with everybody else since we all dont have a fckkkkknn CARRRRRRRRR to get on home away from the horrifying dreadful rain.

FUCK. tell me why i gained 10 pounds. -_____________________________- not the business. STFU. fuckkkk....in' up. i need to stop getitn' the munchies. or better yet, cease the kush.

oh btw, janeson just dropped by just earlier after the laker game.. slanged my puppy to him. 2 down. 1 more to go. oh please, somebody help me get rid of this bitch.

oh yeah. totally bombed the math final. FUCKKK YEAHHH. never smoke before a final. -_- and as for US history.. dont everrrr get mr. stevens as a teacher. so there was the scantron part.. the fckn map test.. 5 essay questions.. WHILE a video was playing for u to take notes while u take the test. DA FUCK RIGHT? whatever. i just googled all my answers anyway.

yayyy. im done with finals before youuuu is. haha. okay no. but yeah. last day of finals is tmrw but for me its cooking and golf. my golf final is breakfast at ihop. and as for cooking... mr lauten's not even gonna be there. so there goes a 4 day weekend for me.

wtf why is everybody transferring to chatsworth? lance got kicked out of taft .. so he's transferring too. hm. i feel sleepy. but fuck i reall yneed to work out . low key i hate myself for gaining pounds.. i might cry. lol. siiiiiike. i think im in love. siiiiiike.




because i got high.

quote.
"blame it on the koosh." - jeannine. it's a wise quote. i made it.