"if you love something, set it free....

...if it returns, keep it and love it forever."
as for me.. moving someplace new sounds sooo exciting. i might actually consider it.

so today i got caught sneaking out last night. nick, gino, and vitug picked me up. at 1 am. looked for somewhere to chill but ended up stayin at justin's. then nick dropped me off at jolo's place. i basically spent the night there till i realized i got a missed call from my grandpa. man. i didnt even know how to react. my mind blanked out. jolo took me back and i told him i was hella bored and cudnt sleep so "i went to carls jr w/ Joel and Dana since i was hungry". i mean after all to them they only thought i was out for an hour. but anyway. my dad called today yelling saying he's gonna have to talk to me when they get back from DC. ehhh. whatever. whatever happens happens.

anyway. a few mins ago i found myself crying again so i took my Kuya's old bible [who btw passed on 7 years ago] and asked God to talk to me through the Bible. i put the bible on my chest and embraced it while crying and praying. right when i opened it.. i read that foolish children bring grief to their fathers and bitter regrets to their mothers. and that it is slow death to always feel gloomy. idk it just really fits what im going through. that i should stop being foolish cause it hurts my parents and that i should be happy cause its the only way to keep healthy. and that im slowly killing myself if i stay gloomy.

so that's that. i feel kinda better. and ricky always tries to cheer me up and it helps but you know how it is. well school starts tmrw.. and im still up doing this. cause i really cant sleep. i woke up around 11.. cause i basically slept most of the day... the most decent rest i've had all week. damn this jetlag . well. i guess ill try to go back to sleep even though i should try catching up on 2 weeks missed of school work right before winter break. bleh.